Saturday, February 9, 2008

Reflexions on Building a Life

A couple days ago, a friend of mine posted the story below on a site that we both visit  and I have been reflecting on it since then. I haven't been living my life the way that I would like to live my life. I am guilty of being a people pleaser and it has come to my attention rather appruptly that I am not really happy where I am right now. I've been living my life for other for years (maybe forever). Wanting to make other people happy and doing the things that I think they would think are best for me to do.

However, I've also come to realise that most other people are NOT people pleasers and look out for themself first (and possibly rightly so). So I've been sitting around waiting for others to make me happy, to do things that get me where I want to go. It's just not working for me any more. I am the one that is in control of my life. When I put aside my desires and dreams I am errecting a wall in my house in the wrong place or using an inderior peice of material and I won't do it anymore.

Now, don't be expecting big changes out of my all of a sudden. I've pushed aside my dreams and desires for so long (at least since having children...if not longer) that I'm not even sure what they are anymore. There are some that need to be re-evaluated since having children makes certain goals much tricker (but NOT impossible) to accomplish. I do know that I am going to start living for myself more.

Do you know that I am scared to death but looking forward to exploring where I want to go and drawing up the plans for the house called my life.

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