6 weeks Baby!!

The many sides of Ruadhán in 30 seconds....




















Love you, sweet boy!

A Story of Scones and a Baby

My friend posted a scone recipe. Thinking that scones are pretty straight forward, I decide that they would be easy enough for me to make with the kids. Liam and Morgaine are more than willing to help, especially when I tell them that they will be the ones doing most of the work. Wee baby gets strapped into the ring sling so that I have two hands available should I need to jump in to rescue the recipe. For all of 30 seconds things go well. We pull out the flour, butter, and baking powder. Then looking at my two children working together in the kitchen, I get a feeling of warmth and happiness. However, as a new mother, feelings of warmth and happiness are often accompanied by the flow of breast milk. Ruadhán, smelling (and likely feeling) the milk, starts to wiggle around and make his wee baby grunts and well, of course my milk starts even more. Wet circles begin to form on my chest. The kids have by this point measured the ingredients and are waiting for a spice from the top shelf. Being notoriously clumsy, I remove wee baby from the carrier and lay him on the couch. He is quiet. All is well. I climbed on the chair and lean over to reach into the cupboard. The baby, realizing I am gone, SCREAMS....

Drip....

Drip......

Drip......

Drip........

There's breastmilk falling on my TOES!

The spice in question is nowhere to be found so I grab the next best thing, hop down, and run to the screaming baby who is now red with rage and has huge alligator tears streaming down his cheeks. I'm soaked, the kids are excitedly asking what they need to do next while jumping up and down, despite being in my arms, Ruadhán continues to scream. I grab the butter from the fridge, cut off a half cup chunk and toss it into the bowl and tell the kids to break it up with their fingers (hey, the recipe says we can use our hands). I sit with the baby at the table to oversee and nurse. The baby latches and then pulls off, the milk arches in the air and lands on the table just inches away from the mixing bowl. On then off. On then off. On then off. Meanwhile, the older two are letting the butter melt in their hands instead of blending the chunks of butter into the flour. It's time for me to rescue the recipe and besides the baby has no interest in nursing. Back into the carrier he goes. No sooner in, then he started to scream AGAIN! Just wanting the recipe done at this point, I take over. Toss in a couple eggs, get both hands into the mixture and bop around

Up and down......

Back and forth......

Side to side.....

Trying quite UNSUCCESSFULLY to soothe the now quite distressed infant.

Form a ball.....the baby SCREAMS!

Cut the dough.....the baby SCREAMS!

Place the dough on a baking tray....the baby SCREAMS!

Open the oven and place the try inside....the baby sighs and falls asleep!

The scones turn out magnificently.

All Liam Wanted Was.....

Chinese fondue, Yorkshire pudding, and and a can of peas (without carrots, please, Mom) for his birthday.







And that was exactly what he got!

Happy 7th birthday, my beautiful boy!!

Wordless Wednesday-For Those that Haven't Seen Them

After Ruadhán's birth.... (they'll be added to the birth story this evening as well)

Look! I DO Take Photos!

Sure, I'm mostly taking the pictures because I got nice new Applecheek™ diaper covers in the mail and now Ruadhán has such a cute little bottom that I couldn't help grabbing a few shots. That works for all of you that just want to catch a glimpse of the baby, right? I'm really an action shot kind of photographer and babies don't really do much so he hasn't been in the spotlight too much, yet!



First attempt at "tummy time" and it's not too bad....



Looking puzzled. Why am I on the floor, Mum, and not in your arms?



Not bad, I could get used to this!



I think I'm loved....



No, I KNOW I am!

Introducing.....

Ruadhán (Rowan) James M.

Birthdate: April 18th, 2010
Time: 3:48pm
Weight: 8 pounds 7 ounces
Length: 21 inches

Apparently, I'm not featuring the newest baby enough on my blog so by special request I've gotten around to posting his birth stats......and oh yeah, his NAME!!

This baby has been a blessing in so many ways. His birth has taught me to be more gentle with myself. In the days after he was born I had ample time to search my soul and find out what I really want from life. Ruadhán's "blissed-out" nature reminds me just to relax and live in the moment. The kids tender treatment of their baby brother reminds me how much I love them. I always knew that baby #3 was waiting out there for me (even when it felt like it was never going to happen) but I never knew how much on an impact adding him to the family would have on me. I am forever thankful and am looking forward to everything the coming years will bring.

(and I really did try to get some pictures to share tonight but the lighting in our house it just horrible so you'll have to wait for your photo fix)

Wordless Wednesday-If Only She Actually Needed Glasses

They suit her so well, don't you think?

An Earth Day Picnic with my Three Lovely Children

It's a lovely day out there today and my little family and I just enjoyed our first picnic together.



A simple menu....it's been a long time since I've done anything with a newborn in tow.



Morgaine being her adorable little self (she still loves the camera...a little too much!)



The best we're going to get of our camera shy little guy, Liam.



There's a baby in there...



Happily enjoying his thumb!!

What a glorious way to spend this Earth Day!

Wee Baby Boy's Birth Story

It's the first time I've been back to my blog in a week or so and I was surprised to see that Sunday, the 18th of April was the busiest day on my blog EVER! Well, I was a little bit too busy that day to be posting! We welcomed the newest addition to our family at about 3:45pm that afternoon and well, I was too busy admiring him that evening to post anything else!

Here's his story to add to Morgaine and Liam's birth stories......ENJOY!

~~~~~~~~~~

We arrived at Prince's Inlet Retreat in Lunenburg, Nova Scotia nearing my 38th week of pregnancy. I'd had a feeling that perhaps things were going to happen a little bit of the earlier side of 40 weeks as opposed to later so we'd decided to head down to the cottage a few days earlier than planned in order to get some time to enjoy the area before the newest arrival. I was picturing walks along the water and just relaxing as a family of four. Unfortunately, within a couple days of arriving we each got hit with a flu bug one after the other. Liam, Mommy, Morgaine, then finally Mike. It was not a fun time for anyone dealing with fevers, chills, coughing, gagging, stuffy noses and all that jazz while I continued to have pre-labour symptoms. I felt like my body was ready but I just couldn't let go because everyone else was so sick..

Finally, by Friday, the 16th of April, Mike was making some improvement and I started to get into somewhat of a regular contraction pattern later that evening after having a nice day out and about. By Saturday morning I had the feeling that this might actually progress into real labour eventually. I had a home visit with the midwife that morning and I asked her to give me a little check for curiosity sake (I'm interested and I wanted to see if we'd get the same measurements). At that point I was a good 2 cm and stretchy to 4cm and 50% effaced. The baby was very low and in a good position at that point. We talked a great deal about having the midwife present just to be there and for her to be VERY hands off. We'd let her do what she needed to do to allow us to birth at home being "high risk" but otherwise she was to do nothing at all unless we asked her. Being totally cool she was into that and encouraged us to do so.

After she left my contractions started coming every 15 minutes and I started loosing tons and tons of show. By Saturday evening they gotten to about every 8 minutes or so and had gotten somewhat stronger. Mike and I pulled out the hide a bed and watched After Armageddon (what a wonderfully enlightening show to watch in labour *lol*). I tried to get to sleep after that but laying down wasn't working so well for me so I got into the tub where the contractions quickly started coming every 3-4 minutes but I was quite able to rest in between them. I tried to get out of the bath to sleep a little but once out I just couldn't fall asleep so back into the tub I went (it must have been close to 3:30am at this point). This time while resting I felt the baby completely shift and go posterior. One of my worst fears and what I'd try to avoid the whole pregnancy. The contractions got intense and close together at that point but really not that effective at doing much. At 6am I woke Mike and we hung out in the bathroom for the most part with tea and Cheerios. I was handling things well but we decided to call the lady we had helping with the children and the midwife as well. The midwife had 4 births in the previous week and was to be all over doing post-partum visits so we'd be warned to call her early. She arrived at about 11:45am and we just hung out in the bedroom. Mike spent some time preparing lunch for the family and things were quite chill. The midwife was very discreet and let me do my thing observing from her little nest on the floor. We did end up placing a saline lock in case of hemorrhage but that was about it in terms of intervention. I did have her check me a little while after she arrived to confirm that the baby was indeed posterior (though there was no doubt in either of our minds). At that point, I was 4-5cm and completely effaced but the baby's head was not effectively pushing against the cervix. Her feeling was once it did then things would fly. I was completely sick of short little intense contractions and discouraged but took some homeopathics to help turn the baby and hopped into the tub.

Mike and I continued to hang out in the bathroom but the contractions slowed down significantly in the water and at that point I was ready to tell everyone to just go home. In my head I was only contracting to get that baby to turn and once he did every thing would stop and we'd have a baby a couple weeks later. I pretty quickly got out of the water and the midwife left us together in the bedroom for a while. I hung out on the birthing ball while Mike looked at one of the board games we like to play and discussed some of the cards with me. Nothing much was happening so I was happy for the distraction. I had a couple longer contractions that found me hoping off the ball and sinking low to the ground and the midwife must have taken notice of the change in my voice because she quickly came into the room. I think that our help for the kids took notice too because she got the children dressed up and took them out for a walk.

As soon at the midwife walked into the room the contractions started coming one on top of each other. Again, not too terribly long but intense, and almost constant just because of how frequent they were. I was NOT a calm birther in the least and despite knowing that everything was normal and having a ton of doula tricks that I felt like I should totally be capable of using I just couldn't relax into this birth at all. I was totally in my head the entire time and that was very obvious. We soon started pulling out the Rescue Remedy and other Bach remedies. I started to get somewhat pushy and it felt like I was sitting on baby head but I knew that it wasn't time and was likely a result of the baby being back on. I mentioned this to the midwife and she said things would be much better once my waters had opened. At that point, I told her to just break them and she said she could. However, she didn't get up to do it so after I has a couple calmer contractions I told her that I would just like to have the waters opened. She told me that the baby would just melt away the cervix when his head got applied to it but I was completely unaware that she really, really meant what she said.

I was still only about 5-6cm when she checked me and while using some gentle hand maneuvers as she was breaking my waters the baby turned into an anterior position and I went from 5cm to fully dilated under her fingers. I was completely freaked out. I wanted to get to the toilet for my customary first couple pushes but the midwife said there was no time and the best thing I could do was get on my left side and just let the baby come. I COMPLETELY clamped down at that time. There was NO WAY that the baby was going to come out of me while I was laying down. I NEED my two feet firmly on the ground to birth. Nope, no baby today....thank you very much. I had Mike in such a tight grip and the midwife telling me I was doing it all on my own (at that point, it felt to me, like SHE had accomplished the whole labour). FInally, some Rescue Remedy was shot under my tongue and didn't that leg lift up and onto the midwife's shoulder. I begged the midwife to just get the baby out and out he came. A massive, MASSIVE head and a little tight shoulder and I had the baby in my arms. 8 minutes to go from 5cm to baby in arms! I felt a tad shell-shocked but that completed passed almost immediately.

The kids came in right away to see the baby but at almost that moment the placenta separated and some bleeding started so fearing the worst I quickly shooed them from the room. I was given a second injection of pitocin but the bleeding was pretty controlled though the midwife did feel the need to help the placenta deliver just because she really wanted to allow me to stay home after this birth. She tried to get the IV flowing but it just wasn't working for her and at that point she actually relaxed and said "you know, you are holding up your end of the bargain and aren't going to bleed too much and your body is telling me so by not allowing me to start this IV. You are going to be just fine." I did ooze a bit like in Morgaine's birth but NO WHERE near the same extent and things were pretty chill. The kids came back in....Liam was quite smitten with the baby but Morgaine thought that the room smelled bad so she was a little less sure of things. We did the newborn exam with the whole family assisting and it was lovely to have everyone involved. The baby was a lovely chunky 8 pounds 7 ounces, and 21 inches long with a 37cm head (that's the 90 percentile folks!!). The consensus was that the baby was probably about a week "early" despite my calculation that he was born on his due date. We all hung out for a while and by 3 and a half hours after the birth everything was looking perfect and the midwife was on her way home. I got up and looked at the photos we'd gotten (none of the birth this time) and posted a little welcome to the world message on Facebook and then snuggled up with the newest addition for a glorious long night's rest.

I did not get birth photos this time around but these are just a few of the photos we took during his first couple hours of his birth.




First glimpse of my beautiful baby.



Seeing their brother immediately after birth.



Nursing within the first 30 minutes.



In Daddy's arms.



Looking intently at the midwife looking at him.



The children helping with the newborn exam.

This story is in it's beginning phase and may undergo some changes over time but I know that there were a few out there that were anxious to hear it so I felt it best to get it posted sooner rather than later.

Decisions, Decisions-Cloth Diapers

Well, we will most certainly be cloth diapering this little one when he comes earth-side. I've been waiting for it for ages if you recall here, here and here . However, we haven't decided that if the first thing to touch his sweet baby bum with be cloth or if we'll do the disposables for the first couple of days. I actually went out and bought some organic, non dyed/scented disposables but as I was braiding up some umbilical ties.....



I got thinking....

I don't really want icky plastic touching his cord/belly, I'm making up some lovely cloth for myself for post-partum so really does it make sense to put him in a disposable? With Liam we were totally unprepared for meconium. We put him a cute little outfit and then he blew up and there was poo (okay, roofing tar...how come no one told me about that?) EVERYWHERE. Without question we threw diaper, outfit and baby (wait, not baby) in the trash! With Morgaine we were better prepared....disposable and older clothes but she passed meconium before birth and then as soon at she was born so we didn't have to worry about the clean up. We don't have all that many prefolds/inserts and I don't know if I want to sacrifice them to baby's first bowel movement and I am not sure that there is anyways to get that stuff out satisfactorily.

So I'm asking my cloth diapering Mamas, did you use cloth right from the beginning or did your baby experience disposables for a couple days first? If you used cloth did you try to clean them off or did you just toss the works?

(and yes, I'm a Mum, and this isn't likely to be the last post about poo on my blog!)

Okay, I'll bite....10 reasons to enjoy the 3rd trimester!

My friend, Ilana (co-founder of the amazing Apple Cheeks reusable diaper, BTW) over at A Reusable Diaper Revolution, posted her 10 reasons to enjoy the 3rd trimester and I told her that instead of embracing the 3rd trimester I thought I'd just sulk instead....well, sulking isn't all that much fun so here we go....

My 10 reasons to enjoy the 3rd trimester:

1. When I sulk, I generally get left alone and no one bugs me to know what's wrong because I'm most obviously "just hormonal".


2. I can disappear in the middle of the afternoon and lay in bed with my iPod and have my daughter (who has been known to repeatedly come into the room when I am resting to say "hello") actually warn the rest of the family to stay away because "Mommy needs some time alone to rest."


3. The kids love to talk about what the baby will be like when he is born and also come up with crazy questions and some off the wall comments about the pregnancy as well (Morgaine's latest...we shower together...."oh, Mommy, your nipples are so brown now."......all the better for the baby to see, my dear!


4. When the baby moves now we can "play." You kick? Okay, I poke.....your turn!!


5. Finally, my older children are sleeping (mostly) through the night so I am enjoying uninterrupted sleep for the first time in almost 7 years......if he is anything like his sibblings it will be a LONG time before I sleep this well again!


6. I'll soon get to cover the wee baby's bottom with all the little wool projects I've worked on over the last 8 months.


7. I almost always feel full so overeating is a thing of the past!


8. However, if I am craving chocolate (or ice cream) I feel totally fine indulging!


9. If I ask for help, it's almost always met with a "yes, dear!" Even the children are beginning to see that once Mommy gets down it is hard to get her up so they might as well pick up their own toys/books/rooms/dishes/dirt clothes/crumbs, etc.


10. There's only a little over 6 weeks (hopefully) before this week baby comes earthside and then all the fun will begin!

As we haven't kept up with Liam's Blog I've decided to let Liam "guest" blog on my website. He still loves lego and wanted to tell you about his creations! I oversaw his spelling when he was writing too quickly but didn't really have him fix a lot so you could see how his spelling is improving (funny, how he can spell the bigger words no problem but has trouble with some smaller words). Enjoy!

~~~~~~~

Hi, I am Liam. I've got lots of legos and lots of creations too.



My sisters name is Morgaine and shes waring her blue dress.



Some of my creations are a town, a speed car, a skiing flying car, even a realy funny thing I have no idea what to call, a plane that only fits 2 pepole (with 2 or 3 k'nex peices), a floting truck with 4 homing missiles.









I hope you like the picthures.

Sweet Liam's Birth Story

Well, I posted Morgaine's birth story and said that I would post Liam's as well but then the computer died. It's a little late coming but here is Liam's birthing center birth story (I cannot believe that this wee boy is going on SEVEN!!)
~~~~~~~

I'd gone into the birthing center that morning to have a herbal
induction as I was 41 weeks 5 days and the birthing center could not
have me as a client past 42 weeks and there was no way I was going
to have a hospital birth. I chose the lovely pink room though I knew
I was having a precious baby boy and I started taking the required
herbs to get things going. Unfortunately things didn't really get
going and I was about ready to head for home at noon. The midwifery
student who I'd been close to during my pregnancy asked me to stay
for lunch then recommended that I lay down and have a rest and she'd
drive me home after her 1 o'clock meeting. I decided that sounded
like a plan as the bus ride home didn't appeal too much to me being
HUGE and very VERY pregnant.

I went to lay down in my bed and POP, SPLASH my waters opened (like
REALLY opened) and I knew the fun was about to begin!! I waddled out
to the kitchen with a towel between my legs and found the first
person I could (hoping and praying she was a midwife, or an aide
natale NOT some other clients family member). "Um, I think my waters
have broken," (there's was no mistaking it) "could you maybe, umm,
get my midwife?" So out of their meeting come my midwives to
announce that indeed by waters had opened and to compliment of the
HUGE amount of waters I had. I was slightly mortified, but only
slightly. Mike had brought my "hospital...umm, birth center" bag to
work with him that morning so I waddled around my bedroom semi
(mostly, actually) nude while the aide natale washed and dried my
clothes. It was a nice chill time. I read some mother magazine. Did
some needle point.

At about 3:30 I decided that I should call Mike and let him know
that we'd indeed be having a baby in the forseable future. He said
he'd finish up and be on his way. I don't remember what I did
between that time and the time he showed up (which was like 7ish)
bearing gifts (well, McDonald sundaes...which I couldn't bring
myself to eat even a couple days AFTER Liam was born). I imagine I
chatting with the midwives and undoubtly did MORE needle point.

So yeah, I decided that I wanted a green salad for supper (which the
aide natal promptly whipped up for me to take one look at it and
decide I didn't want it). This brings us to nearing 8pm and the
park. Mike and I decided to get one last walk as a couple sans
children and we spend quite a bit of time befriending a stray cat
that looked to be living behind the birthing center). Then we went
to the park and swung, and swung and swung. By this point I was
beginning to get little contractions but nothing too alarming.
Nothing near the preterm contractions I'd gotten thoughout the
pregnancy. However, knowing that the real deal was emminent we
decided to hear back to the birthing center.

10 pm found me pacing back and forth, back and forth in the kitchen
and prowling around the dining room (probably making the midwives
very nervous *lol*). I finally walked up to Sinclair and said, "Can
I have a hug? I don't know what's wrong with me, but can I have a
hug?" She took me in her arms and said, "There is nothing wrong with
you. You are just like a Mama cat looking for a place to have her
kittens." With that I proudly went to announce to Mike (who was
trying to rest) that I was "just like a Mama cat." I tried to lay
down with him but that wasn't so relaxing. I bounced around on the
birthing ball with him talking to me and then tried to rest some
more. Around midnight Sinclair came in to tell me she was off (off
to England to see her father who was turning I think 80...she had an
early flight but wanted to stay with me as long as possible as my
main midwife was out of town as well and I was going to be with a
midwife I hadn't really met). They checked me at the point and I was
at something quite rediculous like 2cm (which is what I was at at
like 28-30 weeks).

They left us alone again and I bounced around on the ball some more
and tried to sleep in between (yeah, right). At 3am, I'd had enough
and really wanted a female presence so Mike ran to fetch the student
midwife. She made us a lovely cup of Chamomille tea and pour me a
bath and lit some candles. We all went into the none to big
bathroom. I was feeling somewhat watched so Mike shooed her away
again (poor woman). I didn't spent a lot of time in the water as I
was having a lot of back pain and I couldn't get into a position
that was more comfortable.

By 3ish I was feeling quite nauseous and the midwife came in to give
me some Nux Vomica (because seriously my only fear about birth was
that I was going to puke, SERIOUSLY *lol*). At about that point I
started bearing down at the end of the contractions and my midwife
asked "Are you pushing?" and I was was was like "No"----bearing down-
-- "I'm not pushing" and she was like "You are soooooooo pushing".
So I was checked and found to be 8-9ish.

Unfortunately I stayed at 8-9ish for a loooooooooooong time (the
whole time having urge and involuntarly pushing). The sun came up,
the birds started singing, the center started coming to life but
still I didn't progress. Finally at 9am the midwife decided that she
was going to hold back that little lip of cervix while I pushed that
baby on past it (it was nearing the time where they "have to" worry
about getting the baby out as my waters had been open near 24 hours.
This was torture, it was painful and totally unpleasant and I don't
recommend any of you to EVER have this done. Then to make matters
worst after they finish and I was laying flat on my back with both
my legs held waaay back they yelled at me to push. I completely
COMPLETELY flipped out!! Mike shooed every from the room VERY
quickly. I jumped up and started pacing around like a mad women
(what the h*** were they trying to make me do?). I found a nice
comfy stop on the toilet where I pushed ever so slowly for the next
two hours. The student midwife (who I love love LOVE) was awesome.
She was very encouraging. When it was near the end the other
midwives came into the room as well and I moved out of my bathroom
and sat on a birthing stool. 30 minutes later out popped a beautiful
and healthy 8 pound 2 ounces baby boy.

Unfortunately, I bleed and the right after his birth is a bit of
blurred still (though it wasn't a severe hemmorhage like it was in
Morgaine's instance). It was really traumatic for me and I felt a
little battle weary after. Nice thing though was by 2pm I was
sitting up eating meat lasagna (yes, dying for meat and I was soooo
on a very limited meat diet at that time). We all cuddled down in
bed together until 7pm when we then started making the calls to let
the world know about our newest (okay, new arrival..as he was our
first).

The new family almost 7 years ago....home from the birthing center and introducing Liam to the family.

Liam today....loving his little sister.

31 Week Belly

It's been a while since I posted a belly update. Here I am at 31 weeks! Unfortunately, I'm feeling rather done with this pregnancy with still quite a ways to go. February isn't the best month in the world and I'm struggling some with my emotions in relation to having another baby as we've been dealing with some serious attitude from BOTH of our children these days and my patience is so thin that I am sure I am not helping matters much (my daughter is throwing a major fit behind me as I type). Mike is tired and I am tired and the kids are tired and the tension in our house is thick at the moment and honestly when I think about throwing a third child into the fray I want to run screaming to the hills!! I am POSITIVE that this will pass given a little bit of time (and some sunshine and warmth) but currently that is where I am at at the moment.

Wee baby, on the other hand is doing wonderfully well. He is active and already in a favorable birthing position (and has been there for a couple weeks already). My blood pressure this week was significantly lower than it is has been since the start of the pregnancy (where it was on the higher side....especially for me). My blood sugar levels came back excellent (I refused GTT but did a fasting glucose level). My hemoglobin is actually on the high side. Not high enough to be a cause for concern but I will be stopping my supplements as my body seems to know what it is doing this time around. The baby hates the doppler at the doctor's office and goes into erratic uncontrolled constant movement for the rest of the day after the doctor checks in on him. I've never felt anything like it and it is really rather freaky. Besides that day, he sleeps well during the day and is VERY active after the kids go to bed (so they are always keeping me busy!! *lol*)

Still looking forward to the cottage.....44 days to go!!

Morgaine's Birth Story (August 2005)

I have birthing on the brain these days (for a variety of reasons) so I figured that in the next few days I would share the kid's birth stories for those of you that haven't heard them yet. Beware, Morgaine's, up first, is especially long!

THE JOURNEY TO MORGAINE ELIZABETH

The Freezie Countdown

This birth story actually starts 75 days before my due date when on a humid June evening we bought a box of 64 large Freezies. On the way home from the grocery store I said to Mike, “Wouldn’t it be funny if I ate a Freezie every day and then ended up delivering on the day that I had the last one?” Mike agreed that was possible and would be pretty neat. From hat moment, the box of Freezies became our due date countdown.

Big and round, enjoying a Montreal summer with my baby boy (July 2005)

I started religiously eating one Freezie a day, with Mike having one here and there for good measure, but, anyone knows that you cannot eat a Freezie a day without getting totally disgusted by their sickly sweetness. As the summer went by my bump grew and grew, my due date got closer and closer but the number of Freezies did not go down near as quickly…

37 weeks came and went. Morag (my midwife) told me I had the perfect home for a homebirth. I cooked. I cleaned. I made my birthing bed. We bought/collected candles, stones, sand and seashells. I ate Freezies.

38 weeks came and went. I cooked. I cleaned. I made my birthing CDs. We prepared my birthing
"alter" (with the above mentioned stuff). I ate Freezies.

39 weeks came and went. I ate the food I’d cooked at 37 weeks. I remade my birthing bed. Liam played with the items on my birthing alter. We made a birthday cake. I also became more reflective. I listened to my birthing music everyday while praying and talking to my Precious One, letting her know that we were ready for her arrival. I cried…I laughed hysterically…sometimes I screamed.

As for my Freezie situation, 10 days before my due date we had 18 left. Mike said that we should throw a barbeque and have Freezies for dessert. I was adamant. No, we couldn’t do that. Only Mum and Dad could participate in the Freezie countdown, it was an unwritten rule. We doubled our Freezie eating efforts but not enough to be done before our due date.

A Practice Run

At 39 weeks 6 days Morag did a sweeping of my membranes but told me that I probably wouldn’t deliver on the weekend but to feel free to prove her wrong. That night I had a lot of contractions and lost what I thought was the elusive mucus plug. Now, according to Dr. Sears most women go into labour within 48 hours of loosing it. 48 hours. I was ecstatic. I told Mike. I was SURE that it was going to happen that night. I contracted regularly all night.

The next morning dawned dark and dreary, not a contraction to be felt. Liam was extremely grouchy and clingy; Mike didn’t feel like working, I just wanted the baby OUT. We nearly drove each other crazy all day until Mike decided that we had to get out of the house. We ended up going to Mike’s parents’ place where Mike’s brother was in visiting from Hull. We had a very relaxing evening with them. Good food. Good wine. Good conversation. Low and behold my contractions started up again during the meal and we decided it was time to head for home.

This time the contractions did not let up over night and actually intensified when I took a bath the next morning. We decided that it was a good time to bring Liam to the inlaws. On the way there we timed the contractions at 3-4 minutes apart and lasting about 45 seconds. We kissed our precious baby boy good bye figuring that the next time we saw him he’d be a big brother. Mike and I decided to do some last minute errands and bought some healthy labour snacks and chocolate to celebrate with after. We also rented a video game to keep our mind of the long day ahead of us. By that point I had to ask Mike to slow down when I was contracting and on the way home we timed the contractions at consistently 3 minutes apart and lasting close to a minute each.

Those video games got annoying after a little while and the floor was hard! At home I decided it was time to call Sinclair (it was Morag weekend off) to let her know what was going on. She was finishing up at another birth and I reassured her that I did not feel that she needed to come over right away but that I thought that something was probably happening today. Mike and I took turns playing the video game but by 3pm I was finding the video game more annoying than distracting. At this point Sinclair called to let us know she was home and would be over soon (her husband had a quick errand to run).

By the time Sinclair arrived the contractions were becoming erratic albeit more intense. I’d have two or three on top of each other and then not another one for 3 or 4 minutes. An internal check showed that there was noticeable change from my last exam two days earlier but that she didn’t think I was in active labour. She said she felt either my water would break and things would get more intense or things would putter out. Either way Liam should stay with the inlaws because tonight could be the night. “However,” she said, “second time babies like to make a practice run.” She then left for home.

Not long after she left, I got a call from my sister saying that they were having a get together the next day as my father and sister were in town and we never get to all be together. I told her that I wouldn’t be making it as I was probably in labour. Not long after my contractions started to fizzle out some so Mike and I went for a walk to the park and went swinging (we’d gone swinging at the park near the birthing center while I was in labour with Liam). Things didn’t really pick up nor did they stop so at home I had a bath, a glass of wine and went to bed.

I woke up the next morning at 5:30 feeling extremely positive and refreshed. I had a long soak in the tub then got out and put on nice lavender lotion and also gave my bump a nice long massage all the while telling the baby that I understood that she wasn’t ready to come yet. I told her that we’d be patiently waiting for when she was ready. I then got dressed, Mike got up and we went for another walk. From the park we called Mike’s parents to let them know that it had been a false alarm and we went over there and had a very nice family breakfast.

We debated long and hard over whether or not we should make the two hour trip to my sisters. I was not really comfortable with the idea (and I am sure that the midwives wouldn’t have advocated the trip) but I hadn’t had a contraction all morning so we decided to take the chance figuring that we’d have time to make it home should labour start. When we got to my sister’s we realized that it was an early birthday party for my father (who is turning 70 in December). We had a nice time visiting with family and I think that there was Divine Intervention in my “labour” stopping the night before allowing me to make it to the party. It was one in maybe half a dozen times in my life when all my siblings and father were all together at once. I was thankful that I was able to be a part of it.

Time for a Gentle Nudge

Both Sunday (after coming home from my sister’s) and Monday nights I was kept awake by contractions that would diminish by the morning (but never go away completely). We figured that it was time to try and kick things into gear as I was getting tried and very discouraged. I decided to call my osteopath and see what she could offer either to get things going or get them to stop (so I could rest cause inevitably I’d be giving birth sometime in the next week or so and wanted to be ready). I had a nice relaxing treatment with her that same afternoon and after we took Liam to spend the night with the inlaws again so that Mike and I could have a final evening together. We went to McGibbon’s Pub and had a little snack while listening to some good music and then came home and watched television together. We then sat together eating Freezies and talking about the future.

The next day we worked together getting envelopes ready to deliver for Mike’s work and then we went to a really terrible movie together (as Mike said it’d be years before I could go to the theatre again). We then delivered the envelopes together which consisted of going up quite a number of stairs. We picked Liam up from the grandparents and by that point I was feeling tired, achy and not too happy. On the way home Mike and I got into a discussion in which I was lectured on not being appreciative enough of his parents (because I chose to sit in the car while Mike got Liam and I “didn’t sound pleasant enough” when I thanked his Mum). Well, I got very angry and cooked Liam and Mike their supper without sitting down to eat with them. I then asked Mike if he could give Liam a bath and he said he would but not right away (and I wanted it done just then) so I got even more upset and stomped around getting Liam ready for his bath. I’d been having contractions and hadn’t wanted to bathe for fear they’d go away (I always get into the tub with Liam when I bathe him). When I got out I was still feeling angry and maybe a little bit irrational and I ate the LAST two Freezies by myself. I stomped around some more cleaning the house and trying not to scream.

I managed to calm down and some point while watching mindless junk on television Mike and I started talking again. At that point I started doing a wee bit of nipple stimulation to help along the contractions that I was having. Mike and I went to bed around 11 o’clock and for the first time in weeks I didn’t give Mike a list of things to do should I go into labour that night. With my angry energy earlier in the evening I had tidied things to my liking.

The Real Deal

Not long after going to bed I realized that my contractions were getting more intense and closer together. I found that lying down was hard on my back s I got up and went to the washroom where I noticed I was having some bloody show. I then went downstairs to play a couple online games and see if the contractions would continue to pick up. After about an hour I thought I’d like to take a bath and started to try to clean it out myself. After a few minutes I was finding that impossible so I woke Mike up and asked him to help. He was like “you want me to do that NOW?” and I was like, “tonight is THE night.”

I got into the tub and Mike lit some candles and we sat together in the silence. After about half and hour I decided that though it was only quarter after 3, we should call Morag as I was not sure how fast things were going to progress. Mike did the honours of waking the midwife and we spoke briefly and she was on her way.

Early labour....loving the fabric I saved for the birth. She arrived 30 minutes later while I was still in the tub and we talked a few minutes and I briefly sat on the edge of the tub so she could take a listen to the baby (who was perfectly happy). I got back in the tub but Morag said that it might be a good idea for me to get checked. She said that she could do it while I was in the tub but that did not appeal to me so while she was getting her stuff ready in my bedroom I got out of the tub and wrapped myself in the fabric I’d been saving for the birth. Right away I realized that this better be the real deal, Morag was getting all her birthing supplies set up! A few minutes later an internal exam revealed that I was 3 maybe 4 cm, 50% effaced and the baby was still high up there. Discouraged I looked to Morag and asked “Is that good?” “It is good” she replied in her soothing voice as she continued to unpack her stuff.

The next hour or so I was quite restless as Morag got my room all set up for the birth. I wasn’t in pain so much as I didn’t know what to do with myself. Morag tried to give me some suggestions of positions that I could try but nothing really appealed to me. I ended up in the bathroom as my body began cleansing itself in preparation for the birth. As a private person I was shocked when I invited Mike to spend this time with me. For some reason I was quite nervous and having him with me helped.

After a time the 3 of us sat in the living room, me getting up to sway or walk around during contractions, while the sun came up. The contractions were coming about every 3 minutes by this point but I was still able to talk and even laugh at our neighbours who happened to be outside at the crack of dawn painting their patio. I only needed to be free to get up and move around during contractions and I was fine.
Liam checking in with Mum before heading to Grandma and Grandpa's At 6am we decided that it was time to call the inlaws to get Liam (as I didn’t want Mike leaving to bring Liam to them when I was in active labour). We got Liam up and he came to cuddle with me on the couch where I was trying to take a break. The grandparents arrived 6:45 and were insistent on finding the jacket Liam had worn the previous day (“it was a nice one” Grandpa said) despite me bringing them two other equally suitable jackets. At that point I had enough and went into the bedroom with Morag and only after they left did I realize that I hadn’t even said good-bye to Liam before he’d left. Talk about a guilty Mum moment.

After they left, Mike and Morag had some breakfast while I tried to eat some frozen fruit that before labour I thought would be wonderful. However, sitting at the table while they ate was making me antsy so I went down stairs to see if my sister was online to let her know that she was going to be an aunt again that day. She wasn’t around but I change my user name to “Having a Baby” so all those in cyber space would know that today was the day (I had every intention of updating it or having Mike update it to “Mum and Baby are Fine” as soon as possible after the birth but that didn’t happen so to those in cyberspace I was having a baby for 5 days!!)

Morag decided that she would leave to make a very quick visit to her daughter, who lives in my area. During the 45 minutes that she was gone I had quite a bit of bloody show and the contractions definitely picked up a notch and I got back into the tub. I laboured in there for a while and then felt that I wanted to get checked to see where I was at. The verdict was that I was 4 closer to 5 cm and was completely effaced. Hearing that I’d only dilated 1 cm was discouraging but I knew that going from 50 to 100 percent effaced was a good start. Besides labour hadn’t been too hard up to that point and I was even able to give Mike a quick anatomy lesson regarding the functions of the cervix and what happens during labour (with Morag backing me up).

Not that long afterwards though I felt that being vocal was the thing to do during contractions and I sat in the kitchen and moaned through contractions and also told myself to relax out loud. So it kinda sounded like a deep “Hmmm” and “Relax, just relax”. After a while I moved to the bedroom and sat on my birthing ball and turned on my birthing CD and continued with my moaning that on occasion was getting high pitched to which I immediately said “No” and corrected to return to deep moans.

Somewhere around this point Morag made the call to the aide natale and her assistant midwife and I remember sitting on the toilet trying to tell Mike (who is the driver in our household) the directions for the assistant midwife to take coming from a different highway then the one that the birth center was on (where the original directions I’d written up were from). There seemed like there were so many phone calls being made and coming in (the assistant midwife got lost) and it was breaking my concentration and making me nervous so I decided that it was time begin using some of my birthing aides. I went into my bedroom alone and put on my birthing CD (Enya’s “The Celts” and “Memory of Trees” for those that are interested…..incredible for birth) and sat on my birthing ball facing my birthing alter (on which half the items where missing thanks to Liam). I vocalized through contractions and told myself to relax out loud whenever I could feel my body tense up. The aide natale and assistant midwife arrived and came in to give me and hug and kiss. The assistant midwife sat with me for a couple minutes just holding my hand and then they both made themselves invisible to let me do my thing.

I laboured for the next couple hours using the same method of moaning, telling myself to relax when I tensed up, and changing my vocalizations when they got too high pitched. I spend some time in the tub, in my room and at the kitchen table. Mike was around but at this point things get more fuzzy in my head. I think it was around this point I started holding his hands when a contraction would come on but I am not positive. I know that I’d stand up and lean into him during some of the harder contractions and he asked if I wanted my back rubbed but by this point the contractions were all in my abdomen (with Liam I had back labour the whole time).

I was beginning to feel sick and I thought that eating something might help but when Mike brought out my fruit and apple sauce I knew that it wasn’t what I needed. Morag told me that by this point I should be able to do fine just having sips of water. We were getting close. I started to vocalize that I couldn’t do it any anymore and that I wanted it done (I hate feeling nauseous more than anything else in the world). I took Nux Vomica and that took away most of my sick feelings but I was still saying that I had enough so Morag took me into my room and told me that if the baby was positioned well and her head was engaged then we could break my water and that would speed things up. I thought that would be best because I was wondering if my water was ever going to break. Being born in the caul is supposed to be lucky and chances are my waters would have broken before that point but I was still uneasy about the very slight possibility. I was tired, not so much from the labour which wasn’t intensely painful or lengthy but just from being up much of the night for several nights before hand. Morag checked and I was 7 centimeters, 100% effaced, and the baby was in the correct position. We decided to break my water so Morag went to get Mike and the back-up midwife. At this point I went into the washroom and checked myself (as I really wanted to feel my baby and after the water breaks it isn’t recommended to do internals) and it was amazing to be able to feel my precious wee one’s head and even her hair. I’d checked a couple times through the labour but this was definitely the most impressive cause she was right there.

In very active labour...only about an hour before Morgaine made her appearance earthside.

We broke my waters and the water was tinted with meconium and it was at this point when I lost control in my so far smooth labour. I had a dear online friend with whom I’d conversed a lot with while we were trying to conceive and she had lost her baby the week before at 3 days old from heart problems. The only warning sign that anything was wrong was meconium staining. I wanted the baby out and I wanted the baby out NOW. I needed to see with my own two eyes that she was alright.

The contractions actually began to space out immediately after they broke my waters and Morag said this was not the time to prove her wrong (she’d said that they usually get stronger and closer together after the waters are gone). However, after 15 or so minutes it was obvious she wasn’t wrong. I started to get the urge to push and Morag was sitting in front of me rubbing my legs and letting me know that I was really close. Again, I’m not 100% sure where Mike was but Lynn, the aide natale was behind me applying counter pressure to my back as the pain was radiating back as the baby moved its way lower.

I wasn’t quite ready to beginning pushing in earnest and at some point I moved to the washroom to push on the toilet. I was getting quite panicky at this point as things were moving quicker than what I had anticipated and I was well into transition. I didn’t know what I wanted but what seemed to work was holding onto Mike’s hands while I was contracting but as soon as a contraction was over I’d let go and shake my hands like holding him was something that I didn’t want to do but as soon as another contraction hit I NEEDED him right there to hold. Morag was right beside me rubbing my leg and encouraging me and I started to chant (well, nearly cry) “Mike. Mike, Mike, Morag” during contractions like I was begging them to make it all stop. At some point Morag start to hold my perineum in case the baby came down suddenly and it was decided (though not out loud) that I wasn’t going to make it back to the bedroom to give birth so both the aide natale and the assistant midwife brought in the equipment that would be needed to birth into the bathroom and Mike sat on the edge of the tub and I got onto the birthing stool in front of him.

As soon as I was on the stool I started to shake and start pushing with all my might while leaning back into Mike and holding his hands. With just one push I began to feel the baby move down and past my pubic bone. As this was not a sensation I’d felt with Liam it was both thrilling and a little scary at the same time. Things were moving so quickly and remember wanting to slow things and just breathe through a contraction but the urge to push was so strong. I couldn’t stop shaking.

Crowning but not really feeling it.

Hard Work!

Holding her head in my hands

With just three or four pushes the baby was right there and then she was crowning and the next moment I was hold her wee head in my hands. I had to wait for another contraction for her body to be born but I didn’t have the urge to push while I was “holding” her so Morag had to guide me and tell me to keep pushing her out. Seconds later I was holding my wee one in my arms and all the pain/panic was gone. “That wasn’t so bad” was one of the first words out of my mouth. Mike and I just marveled at the beauty of our wee one and the speed of the arrival. It took us several minutes to check to see if we’d been blessed with a boy or girl. When we took a peak Mike announced that it was a girl and I was like “Oh, my God, a girl…my Precious One”.

Welcome my Precious One

The Afterwards

After this, I noticed that I was bleeding and I matter of factly said “Oh, I’m bleeding.” The afterwards of the birth was not something that I was prepared for (even though I’d bled with Liam I was not prepared for how serious bleeding could be) and don’t feel the desire to put the details into this birth story. To sum it up though, I bled severely initially but the midwives were able to get that under control with 2 different injections, an IV of a third medication, and lots of pressure applied to the uterus. However, over 3 hours later I was still bleeding much heavier than I should have been and with a second bag of IV meds and more pressure on the uterus I continued to bleed so our only option at that point was to call an ambulance and be transferred to the hospital. Even an hour or two more of blood loss at that rate could be really bad. So 911 was called and within minutes I was on my way to Lasalle Hospital. At the hospital I had two more bags of IV meds and lots of poking and proding (including a catheter) and then just IV fluid to see if the bleeding would stay stable without the medication. 18 hours later I was on my way home with my sweetie though I was very weak and had the wheel chair escort and the works you always see on television.

My midwives were very professional, calm, and compassionate and though I didn’t get the “gentle” third stage I’d longed for it was less traumatic to me then the blood loss with Liam’s birth (I’d had a different midwife I didn’t know, there were students present, the assistant midwife had been trying to keep me present by forcing me to call Liam by his name…with no regard to what I was feeling/wanted to say to him). For Morgaine’s birth, though she actually had to be taken away from me, I was less stressed. As soon as they could the midwives lay her on the bed so I could see her and I focused solely on her while they did what they had to do. Morag was very gentle and kept apologizing for not giving me the third stage I desired. The aide natale brought me warm blankets which felt like I was being hugged by an angel and Morag gently washed the blood off my legs, arms and face and I’ll never forget that (have to say that I think it was the nicest most thoughtful thing anyone has done for me in a long time). There was never a time when I felt truly scared.

Of course, I was upset to not have the afterwards I wanted and having to have Liam meet his sister and see me all hooked up in the hospital was disappointing. I felt mad because I couldn’t take care of myself/Liam or even Morgaine the first days home. I was made to be 100% dependent on others. There were many plans that needed to be changed. However, after a couple days when I started to gain more strength I started to cherish the special time I was given to just be alone and get to know Morgaine.